You are a product of your closest contacts

You have heard this before, no doubt.

Something like - you are the product of your five closest friends.

I would also argue it could be a product of your single most influential contact.

It's great watching kids grow. I have two young nephews and have seem them change from new born through to the schooling and programming starting to take effect. I started to observe how they changed from noise makers (babies) to responsive to somewhat interactive beings (toddlers). All the while developing their own traits until they hit the early years of schooling... and then the system got them. Prior to schooling they were just normal boys. They liked cars, super heros, running, play fighting. More importantly they had an innocence only found in little children. They had a present moment way about them and no desire to hold onto grudges or bad feelings. A pure state of mind if you like.

At that age we are like sponges taking in everything our five senses are telling us about out surroundings. We are also taking in influence and behaviour from our people around us which shape us one way or another.

The saying about being the product of the five closest people got me thinking - does taking in influence and behaviour ever stop? If today as adults we are continually shaped by those five closest people, are we still running a childhood program on repeat?

The 1931 experiment by Dr. Winthrop Niles Kellogg caught my attention in this respect.

In short, Dr. Kellogg - a comparative psychologist carried out an experiment where he raised his own child alongside a baby chimp. The purpose of the experiment was to observe how environment influenced development and to explore if a chimp could be domesticated to think and behave more human-like. This experiment went on for nine months in which time both baby and chimp were raised in the same way. Endless tests were carrried out by Dr. and Mrs. Kellog to compare the two on markers such as blood pressure, body size, reflexes, perception, vocalization, locomotion, reactions to tickling, strength, manual dexterity, problem solving, fears, equilibrium, play behavior, climbing, obedience, grasping, language comprehension, attention span, and others. All very comprehensive stuff.

The baby chimp performed well, early testing showed, but eventually hit a limit that nurture could not overcome. The experiment came to an end shortly after and chimp returned to a primate colony. Many observers were left confused as to why the Kellogs brought the experiment to an abrupt halt and here comes a most fascinating observation. The chimp showed no sign of learning human behaviour, but the human baby began to imitate chimp noises.

Is there something deeply ingrained in us to default to what requires less mental exertion?

Maybe this goes a long way to explain why we need to be careful of who we keep as close company. We cannot help it. We are going to succumb to the lowest level thinking if our environment normalises it for us.

The take away here is to choose your company wisely - at any age.

I would recommend to always keep timeless wisdom to hand (i.e. a good book) as reference baseline. Surround yourself with wisdom from great thinkers (dead or alive) and enhance with sound judgement from men also striving for excellence through those you keep company.

Separately - keep challenging yourself in your private time. Cultivate your inner self for spiritual growth from your own motivations. This will also be helpful to prevent apathy in your life and in the group of men you associate with. If they don't, also, bring self sufficiency to the table, you need a new group.