Swiping on dating apps seems to be the main method of connecting with people at the moment and while it may not be a successful dating strategy for all, it teaches a very important principle.

Everything you want lies on the other side of 1000 swipes. And especially for those who have gone from schooling to work a 9-5.

Ask any user of dating apps. You start by paying close attention to all of the photos, reading the bios and swipe the ones you like. After a while it seems you are just swiping on photos and before you know it, the endless profiles has you become a swiping machine. Before you know it you've been through tens, hundreds and over time, thousands of profiles. Unless you're swiping indiscriminately, the process teaches us that there are a lot of profiles to work through to get what you like. Some may match back, some won't. Some will be fake. Some will match and go nowhere, while some will go much further. It takes effort and can sometimes be tough going.

What is the point I'm making here? Just like other endeavours to get something you want from a large pool of possibilities, this becomes and numbers game.

This really dawned on me when I looked into what drives the success of a Web Design agency. The volume of outreach required to achieve any level of success is not insignificant. Some prospects will be aligned with your way of working, fees etc... Some will not not. Some will be luke warm and some will make grand commitments and disappear. The same can be said for looking for property (real estate) deals, cold approach or business acquisition. You are engaging en-masse, trying to gauge buy in. You have seen others do it and achieve success, but you just don't know if you can get the same outcome.

The challenge is how the system (school or the 9-5) does not prepare us for working through this. Nor does it teach us to embrace rejection in a way to look at it as a path to getting to where we want to be. I can speak from personal experience on this. Having gone through the (UK) schooling and university system and straight into the heavily regulated banking system.

I've written in the past about why men need to embrace cold approach. It's a great way to meet new people - be it for business or personal relationships. It can (should) teach us that rejection isn't a bad thing, but a teacher and provides lessons we can grow from. It also helps smash paradigms created from reinforced negative thinking.

There is nothing wrong with the comfortable life, if you're consciously aware that that is the path you are on. However, from the fact that you are reading even this - I'm guessing you must be aware of this and are after something a little more from life.

Steps to consider to help succeed:

You will most likely have a story and thus an attitude about reaching out. A negative response to an event early on in life, layered with meaning after meaning. And that's okay. I think we probably all do that about some thing(s). It will most likely be a life long challenge to take this head on and work through this and the 'you' that was scarred will probably do all it can to avoid experiencing anything remotely close to this. It is worth becoming an observer of self to understand how this shows up for you and how it is playing out.

• Rather than fight yourself, sit down with yourself, take the 'you' with the emotions, history and the meaning you've made out of this challenge and park it. Become a scientist about it: "my mission is to test this process and work with the feedback I get". Anyone who doesn't reply or is not interested is simply a respondent in your experiment for you to learn from. Not something to be taken on a personal level.

• Break it down into a mission of 100's: Nobody takes on Everest in one non-stop climb. Similarly, break this down into manageable 'test samples'. The difference is, a climber will stop when they reach the peak. You may well keep going (if nothing else, for the sheer pleasure of it). You can treat each sample size as a test group and change one small item at a time. If you find a winning formula, press ahead with others in a similar fashion.

• A few rejections or no replies does not necessarily mean something needs to change. Just like with cold approach, it could be it's her time of the month or she is in her (negative) emotions from something going on in her life and completely unrelated to your approach. It may take a few wins to start to ground what works and what doesn't.

• Many rejections means your approach probably needs refining. Conversely to the point above, keep an open mind and know when to pivot. It may not mean your entire approach needs changing, but take steps. If you are sending emails, can the header be improved? You may have spent hours crafting the perfect email, but it may be a great wall of text which a busy business owner may never read.

• Know your recipient and their pleasure / pain points. I'm sure you've heard a version of "people are drawn towards pleasure and repel what they fear". It will help you massively if you can learn this about your recipients and speak to these points. If you keen on pursuing young working professional women, it might help to know they love a man in fitted suit over a well sculpted torso. It's not the only way in, but they will have a greater listening for what you say if that is how you show up. Similarly, operators of cleaning businesses might operate on tight margins and selling a guarantee on your services or that they don't need to pay might create a greater listening for you.

Outside of the mission:

Something I preached in A Manifesto for Living was to make your life about doing uncomfortable things - this will help loosen your attachment to doing the things you want to do, but don't need to. Do them long enough and you might encounter a paradigm shift to a new you that is quite comfortable with what was previously uncomfortable. A little discipline to work the test group on a routine basis will take you far and a thousand swipes will be just the starting point.